Secrets

There was an unspeakable understanding between them, boy and girl. Neither could explain nor would attempt to. Both sat with their hands on their knees, side by side each other. And both mused about the serenity that hovers around them, like a dove in flight. Words were meaningless, they knew, and so neither uttered one.

It was a breezy afternoon, and they were resting in a cottage bared of anything, except the two of them. One was looking at the sunset, its unfathomable beauty enveloping her whole consciousness. The other one was smitten by the other, her own beauty as unfathomable to him as the view she was looking at.

He felt his heart skip a beat when she finally looked at him, when night had fallen. He was having butterflies in his stomach, he thought. All the world didn’t matter then, because he had his own staring right at him. After a few awkward minutes of silence, she took her gaze away from him and to the vast open sea that lay before them. He decided to wait a little longer before breaking the quiet, almost deafening stillness.

She knew exactly what to say, but couldn’t seem to bring herself up and say it. Instead, she looked at him, full of love, and eager to see love in his eyes in return. But all he did was turn his eyes questioningly at her. She gave up, resorting to a more concrete scene. She didn’t want to be the first to break the silence that has now sat between them and was looking them both in the eyes.

Understanding ebbing away, neither spoke. It was a race both of them wanted to finish, yet neither wanted to set the first foot. The once serene setting, was now filled with questions.

He didn’t know what to say, but he wanted badly to show her that his weakness and strength both lay in her. He wanted to rip his heart out and present it to her, just so she would know to whom it has always belonged, from the day it started beating to the time he knew it was too fragile to live another year. But all words betrayed and deserted him.

She felt tired, and confused now. Darkness was all around them, and she could only see his silhouette through the full moon’s light. She has waited too long. It pained her that she was now unsure of almost everything about him. It pained her more that she was so sure about what she feels about him, and not be allowed by fate to tell him so. Limpid tears escaped her eyes, and rolled down her cheeks. She wiped them just as he directed his solemn gaze upon her again. She has waited too long for nothing.

“Halika na Kuya, baka hinahanap na tayo ng iba nating mga pinsan,” were words he hated the most. She spoke so suddenly, so abrupt, that he thought he only imagined it. He automatically looked at her, focused on her eyes. He was still unable to speak, he realized. He just watched her as she stood up, turned her back from him, and walked away into the still, and poignantly dark night.

 

(original post date: June 26, 2005)

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