Eulogy for You and Me

I left all my Heartaches at your doorstep. I don’t want them anymore. I refuse to carry them with me where I’m going—far, far away from you. Since you caused them, you get to have them. May they be a reminder of how much I was willing to do for you, and how much you have disappointed me. May you be reminded every day of the times I was there for you, and the times I won’t be.

I am giving you the Sorry Jar. You have unbelievably filled it up with your Sweet Talks and Promises that everything in the Jar has blended into a colorful array of things I wish I could have gotten, fully owned and appreciated. But you filled it without meaning for me to open it. I had never been able to open the Jar, and so I was filled instead with a pang of Envy just by looking at it.

I packed all my Bitter Feelings and Sad Days, wrapped around them a warm blanket of Goodbye and placed it on top of my Heartaches. I don’t care what you do with it. Throw it away, if you like, but keep the warm blanket. This is the end, and I want nothing of it anymore, but I am not too cold to leave it all bare, and you empty. At least, in the end, you have my Goodbye. That is the last thing I want to give you—last thing I can give you.

I am finally going away, empty-handed, light-headed, and directionless. Yet I have never felt happier before this. Maybe happy is a wrong term, but I am void of my Heartaches and Bitterness, and I could not be sad because of that, could I?

Don’t try to find me or follow me. I am not leaving a trail of Regret this time for you to be able to. It will be difficult for me, but I will try to cover my tracks with Optimism and shower my path ahead with Hope. Neither of which you gave me, and neither of which you shall find.

This may also be the last time you hear from me. After all, I am going on a journey to find Life, that which I lost because of you. I may not know yet where to go, or how to start, but I feel that it is just proper for me to leave all of my Baggage behind. Leave them at your doorstep.

So how do I end an ending? I cannot. I don’t know what to put as a final statement, since you have taken responsibility of deciding the finality between us. I guess the only thing left to do now is to actually go.

So I shall.