They keep saying date a girl who writes. Well, it’s easy to spot a girl who writes. You will find her in bookstores talking to herself, mouthing 10-word reviews of books she will never buy because she already has copies of them. You will see her walking on the street, smiling as if she knows all of your secrets. Yes, you will find her in coffee shops. But instead of sulking in a corner, she will be basking in the summer sun outside, feeling everything moving, pulsing, and rushing around her. After all, she needs material. But it’s not about finding a girl who writes. The question is can you keep her?
If you want to date a girl who writes, know that she comes with a warning. And a very long fine print. Never date a girl who writes if you want a quiet life. Regardless of what she says, she will always have something in her mind. Something she wants to change about the world or something random she wants to do like having coffee on a quiet Thursday night or driving up North on a cold Monday morning to skip work just for the hell of it. If you are not prepared for that, never mind her. Leave her with her coffee and unfinished poetry.
If you really want to talk to her, don’t bother trying to impress a girl who writes with your five-dollar words and compliments because a girl who writes also reads; she has Mr. Darcy’s name written in her childhood diary, has doodles of hearts beside a scribble of “Mr. Rochester,” and remembers Laurie’s rejection from Jo vividly in her memory. She has read far better declarations of love go to waste; she has read about heartbreaks and true love and everything in between (even sadomasochism), and she will not be won over by flattery you sprinkle like confetti. She will see right through you with her piercing eyes. So never mind her and let her finish her book if your opening line is, “How you doin?”
If ever you get her to start talking to you, be interesting and keep up with what she wants to talk about. And she will fall in love with you in a day. She will love how you could level with her weirdness and how you could pull at her strings when she starts to drift away to her dreams.
Don’t date a girl who writes if you don’t want to be written about. Because you will be. Every conversation equals a haiku, a random coffee date a sonnet, and an entire day spent together an epic–maybe even a spoken word piece. Your relationship will be an ongoing love story, without an ending, even if you decide to end it. Because she will not stop writing, not even for you.
But a girl who writes also understands sadness, perhaps more than herself. She dives into it with open arms, prepared to feel the other side of happy drown out the outside noise; she holds her breath—and her heart—until it’s time to come up for air. Don’t bother with a girl who writes if you think her sadness is a fatal flaw. Never mind her if you think she’s never truly happy. Because she is. She will be.
Never mind a girl who writes if you want a quiet life because you—if you ever manage to make her fall in love with you—will make her throw sparks and paint the world with your name in bold letters; you will make her want to always change the world—or at least your usual coffee order.
Never mind her because her world never stops with where she is, what she knows, and what she wants. Because her world revolves around her imagination, her constant what-ifs, and (if you’re lucky) you.
But if quiet is not what you’re after, go ahead. By all means, approach her.