I’ve lost count on how many times I’ve broken up with a song because of its association to certain people. It’s sad to leave these songs behind, but there are just tunes that completely take over your memories when they play, and you are instantly transported back to a specific instance and emotion you’d rather forget.
You know how sometimes you’re not sad but then you listen to a song and all of a sudden it depresses the hell out of you? Then there are your go-to songs when you’re in need of a good cry for whatever reason. Well, there are also times when sad people happen to happy songs. That’s when you are in a state of loneliness so deep that the song doesn’t cheer you up even a little bit, instead you bring it down with you. Bawling your eyes out through Owl City’s Fireflies won’t exactly make sense to others. Neither will silently weeping through the chorus of Orson’s No Tomorrow.
The truth is I’m better at moving on from people than I am from songs. People you can hide from your newsfeed, delete from your contacts list, and pretend never existed. Songs sneak up on you in a shuffled playlist when you thought you’ve deleted them forever. They play on the bus radio, they become movie soundtracks. When you go out to watch a gig, the band does a cover of them.
When people leave you, songs are your litmus test for moving on. You can tell yourself over and over again that you’re okay, but the only way to find out is if you’re brave enough to press play.