Faking It

Because I don’t believe in absolutes, I measure my life in percentages. So today I could say that I am 70% content. I woke up only 15% disappointed and 15% almost-about-to-cry, but for the most part I was able to hold myself together and, in fact, did not cry.

I’ve learned that if I try hard enough, nothing could take over my life entirely–not grief, not disappointment, not sadness. After all, people who have lost loved ones will still laugh when a joke is really, really funny, and that is the best definition of hope for me.

So when he told me he was absolutely in love with her, I wondered what part of himself he sacrificed to make way for that one person. I imagine he has forgone fear–he must have, to be able to declare a love like that. When he told me, I felt 5% strong-enough-not-to-cry, 5% brave-enough-to-smile-at-him, but 90% faking it.



The next time someone asks who you are,
Tell them you are a planet
Because the word “planet” means “wanderer” in Greek

You are made of dreams and stardust,
Every bit of you—every bit in you—is meant to occupy the universe
And nothing about you is misguided–not passion, not sadness, not heartbreaks

Tell them your middle name is Why
That you were raised to ask questions
And to look at everything with wonder

And when people say that you are lost, tell them that you are not
That you are guided by a stronger force
Exploring your own orbit, and finding your rhythm

Artwork by Jethro Lacson